i'm going to steal my coat real quick.

i am updating on jess meyer's computer in the hudson panera. some would say the hudson pantera, but really, that's ridiculous, isn't it? quite.

soon we'll be going up to cleveland to the asian market in order to buy things for sushi new year. come one, come all to the first and probably only, let's face it, sushi new year. there will be rolling, there will be sticky rice. there will be lots and lots of drinking sake. or maybe not drinking sake, who really knows. it's hard to say, but what's for sure is that it will be a sushi-good time.

jess is being very patient while i do this.

bob is also here. he has on headphones that look amazingly comfortable. my headphones, on the other hand, are not comfortable at all, especially not amazingly so. i had been thinking of asking for some other ones for Christmas, but that time has passed now, hasn't it.

after the azn market, we were going to go to my apartment, but now it is looking like there is a meyer family dinner happening instead. as a member of the loya family, i'll still have to go to my apartment. before a long trip, it is important to take a variety of clothes spanning a wide range of climates. you never know. especially when you haven't been away for so long in so long. i wish jess was coming so she could keep a proper log. will there be a log then, i wonder? i want there to be, but i don't necessarily want to keep it. it depends on how things go. when i say "how things go," i really mean "what kind of mood i'm in." moodypants.

it's time to go now. kiss the kids for me.

stay away from the crocodiles

i have been sleeping intermittently, waking up in reverse, with the sun down and the stars up. this is not how i was taught in school. i blame the poker, and the amazing streak of luck i happened to have last night, Christmas night. it was a nice one, and i'm grateful for it.

my new year's resolution for the Year of Our LORD, Two Thousand Six, is to actually talk to God every day in some way, rather than just shoot off some comments as i pass by, or while i'm writing things down anyway, or i just thought i'd kill five minutes, so.

i haven't taken a shower yet. so far i've only had a piece of apple pie and milk. "i am an accomplished young woman," i said, as i cut the pie. then i had to show my mother where the stylus was that went with her electronic sudoku puzzle (it was on the side). and there were some emails i deleted with a flourish. i'm sort of waiting to see how the rest of the evening unfolds first, before i get in said shower, because who wants to go through the trouble of putting all that shit in their hair if they don't have to? not me, no way. not even on boxing day.

a week from today i will be crossing illinois and into iowa. promises to keep, is why. and then two weeks from now, i will be in chicago. by then i should have my grades, huh? i sort of forgot about the grades. this, the third year, i'm able to keep that nagging anxiety down to a low wail rather than a high-pitched shriek.

this was the last Christmas before my life changed. that's what i would say, if i could say it better.

lyndsey, there is nothing wrong with using the word pussy.

pussy pussy pussy. see?

the squeaky wheel gets the grease

well, it does.

so far i've been on winter holiday for a week now. a week! i've been doing a lot of things this week, and i'd like to present them to you in a short list, just so you don't think i've been ignoring you out of pure laziness:

1) eating. eating is great. i've had the chance to sample a wide variety of foods now that i'm not currently in school or, let's face it, doing anything remotely productive whatsoever. i've had thai food (spicy! peanut! chicken!), jalepeno potato chips, lamp chops (which were horribly disappointing, to say the least), homemade beef vegetable soup (yes, i know. beef? you ask, and "there was great sorrow" i reply), chicken pablano enchiladas (zing!), and tonight is nacho wednesday! sometime next week there will be the making of sushi and the drinking of sake. i know! i've never had it either!

2) drinking. sort of, but not really. a beer here and there, some coca cola classic sweetened up by mr daniel (rather than the other way round), but nothing too interesting. i actually think i drink more when i'm in school. in the words of my friend jared, "here's your law degree, and your alcoholics anonymous membership card." mmm. indeed sir!

3) CHRISTmas shopping, sort of. you know, "Jesus CHRIST get out of my WAY shopping." i have to figure out what to get kt and bob. ideas? anyone? i've done so well this year, though! so well! don't die on me now, kringle! stay with me.

4) gone to a Christmas concert, presented by the Cleveland Orchestra, at severance hall. i'm not entirely sure why i capitalized "cleveland orchestra" right there, but it seems right, doesn't it? anyway, i wasn't looking forward to it at all, but for some reason when they started playing silent night i was holding back tears. i concentrated on the line "round young virgin" in order not to cry, because it never really made sense to me when i was little, and it still makes me laugh. like, round? you mean, she's fat? because.....she's pregnant? i don't get it.

four is okay, right? for now? i have to do something else. something.....like NACHO WEDNESDAY! adios, muchachos. muchachas? amigos! as? shit.

just like the breadsticks

i tried to quit law school, but i forgot about the manacles. it's hard to snap those off, even with a running start. hard on the wrists, too, let me tell you. ouch.

it's funny how fast things come back to you. take the olive garden, for instance. man. the salad? the breadsticks? they both taste the same, after two three seven years. the whiskey still comes watered-down, you'll be happy to know, and they still have the sausage soup. excuse me, "zuppa." and the water still tastes a little like paper towels. or maybe a freshly-flushed toilet (or the paper towels used to soak up the water post-overflowed toilet? yes. there we go).

but i mean that to talk about other things (you know, i do that. yes, still, after however many days or weeks it's been since we've last talked, you and i, flush out the real thing with a joke, just to get you going so i can sneak in the point while you're still laughing, and don't think it doesn't work, because it does) going so fast, like this law school i tried to run away from about a thousand times a day the first year, and then a hundred times the second, and now i'm scared for it to end because when things end for me, they end, and you know i don't like to go back, you know how that goes. i'm sad for this time to end, i said, and i mean it even! all those little mentees that ask me about this or that--never, "what do you think about things?" but always "what is this fact, tell me this fact," like there's no way something is just my opinion, because i know the truth and the answer and i will tell it to you if you just ask--all those tutorees, and those professors, and how this or that or the other goes. all that will be lost with the reception of a piece of paper bigger than any other i've gotten before, and with my name on it (the full one, even), and a hood that's not much of a hood, and a silly robe and the puffy hat, and then the coming of the three-day test of anything and everything i crammed into and pulled out of my head in the past three years. i'd rather keep the one and hold stay the other.

but, well now. it's Christmas, isn't it? so soon! and with that comes the probably last just-like-old-times, with the going shopping on Christmas Eve (the twenty-third if we're lucky), the playing of games and the frustrations and the very fun late hours, and all the rest of it (including a lot of snow on my coat). so that'll be another ending, or feel like it, but go so fast and so light it'll barely get noticed, and with that i guess i should say: is it any wonder, ohio, i'm leaving you? soon and even sooner. watch for me as i go by lest you miss me.

but who am i kidding? i'll come back to you so fast.

what time should i get up?

neeeeeew post! newpostnewpost! the word "magnanimous" is in my mozilla firefox quickbar to dictionary dot com, and it would tell me that the word means, precisely, 'courageous in mind and heart.'

my phone is ringing. and with that, this attempt at updating is over, sucka. oh-vher.

keep dreaming of the day i come back for real.

catch as cat can

i'm sorry, internet: i am failing you.

it's just that a lot happened recently. Food Poisoning: The Musical! happened, featuring my infamous solo in which i throw up with my face. then i went to seattle for a long time. and now i'm home, except now there are trials running like clockwork and two exams, one two just like that, next week. and i'm tired.

is it happening? is it time to put away the former things and become old? der? older? is going to bed at 1 in the morning becoming exhausting, and video games......but no. let's not speak blasphemy. please.

whew. i almost lost it there for a second. not to worry! i am exhausted, but only because i've been studying all day and all night. as long as i still make kill bill part of my exam preparation, i'll be just fine.

don't give up on me, internet. i'm still here.