welcome to white

i! got! a! macbook!

i did!

okay. so it's in the box still, waiting for me to take it out and figure out how the hell it works. it's just sitting on the couch, being all sexy in its gorgeous packaging. when i took it out of the box the first time just to see it, some angels came out of the box and flew around the apartment, singing the sweet sweet song of 1 Whole Gigabyte of RAM (I'm Faster Than Your Mom). seriously dude, it was flippin sweet. but then i had errands to run and i had to go, so back in the packaging it went and now i'm afraid to touch it again, like i have to wash my hands first and maybe take a shower for good measure, and buy a special pillow or something to rest it on, and dust is going to get on it, i just know it, and i can't just leave it out where anything can just touch it, right? damn.

also, like how does the internet even work? i have no idea. i can't even deal with this.

today i opened one of my bar review books and, where with the macbook there was the heavenly host, with the PMBR book volume one, Our Name is Legion burst out and sort of hummed A Billion Pages, Nowhere to Go (You're So Fucked). so, the bar in ohio goes like this: one day is six essays over any subject they can think of, one day is the multistate bar examination (MBE), which is two hundred plus questions over six core subjects, and one day is three more essays and two multistate performance tests (MPT), which are more like practical tasks like writing briefs or memorandums or whatever. yeh, awesome. anyway, the PMBR is a six- or three-day course just over the MBE, and i got those books early, so i figured i'd start today, right? ho shit. i have never felt like i never had enough time to study for an exam or prepare for something, honestly, like i always felt pretty confident i could get the stuff done i needed to that was necessary for me to get a relatively decent grade or do a nice job, but i got so overwhelmed and upset about this when i started in on it--it's just so much material you wouldn't believe it. i don't understand, at all, how somebody could pass this exam. i really don't. i have no clue whatsoever how someone could possibly memorize all this material in the amount of time they give you to do so.

now, there's a small hope in the form of barbri, which is this massive corporate bar prep course that costs thousands of dollars and a thirty percent of your liver, and that course covers every aspect of the bar completely. so.....that starts on the 30th, a week from today. three hours in the morning you go to lectures, and then you do 8-10 hours of homework to prep for the next day.

so that's the hellmouth my life will become. i'm sorry if i have neglected this space with celebration and then i'll all but abandon it with bar prep, which jar and i have been calling "The Pain." i would appreciate prayers. and a hello now and then.

but at the moment i have a macbook to play with. yes, yes, oh yes.

because that's how i roll.

okay, so i would go on a date with him.

i am for tennis.

we still: do not discriminate.

i spiked my last exam to the floor of the law school--i mean, the fucking law school--when i pressed the send button on yahoo mail. jar stood and clapped, as it should be. there are things we cannot say nor should nor even are the truth, at present or ever.

i am drinking conac. that's how you spell it, here, in the place where people are done with fucking law school and don't care about what you think. remember that part where the old and very sympathetic convict gets paroled in the shawshank redemption? it's like that. tomorrow, i might hang myself. hung. hanged. how does that even go, and fuck it, please. God.

i am still for tennis, and i am still mad at: 1) SONY 2) NIN-TEN-DO.

here we go, boys. let's hear it.