rodger dodger

i should be preparing a nice little handout for my little kiddos on general defenses to crime. or reading some ethics. or making my lunch for tomorrow. or going to sleep because i feel like somebody beat me up and made me run home. but guess what? i'm not doing any of it. so there.

i had a nice little conversation about living alone with someone tonight. i've realized this time it's different than the last, whether it's because the place or the circumstances have changed i couldn't say, but it's nice to be somewhere quiet. i can hear the noise that's coming tomorrow already, very faintly. and if i unplug my ears, i can even hear the roar that's coming a month from now, and three months from now. but tonight, i'm too tired to listen. so plugged ears it is.

i also have a promise to keep. less of a promise, and more of an offer i just couldn't seem to swing. today though. so there's that.

dudes, i went to the grocery today? i know, ill-advised for a number of reasons, mainly because it's sunday and the portal to the parallel annoying women and the men who love them universe opens then so they can all go do their food shopping. which, let's be honest for a minute: i have nothing against annoying women and the men who love them in general. i think they're nice. cheers. carry on. but man, throw some women and the men who love them in a grocery store and it's a mess. there are cart issues. such cart issues. it doesn't matter if you prefer to wheel your cart all over the store or park it in an out of the way place (say, in front of the tiny housewares section. all those people are at target) like i do, but there are some stumbling blocks that need to be overcome.

might i suggest this pregame peptalk: there are a lot of people in this grocery. they are all here, with me. many people will be in the exact aisle i wish to be in, all at the same time. i must remember not to leave my cart in the middle of the cereal aisle, with my tripe innards stinking up the cinnamon life while i retrieve some more of those yummy canned mushrooms. i must remember that others may wish to view--nay, purchase!--the yogurt, and i should not stand idly in front of the entire yoplait section, facing the opposite direction so i can get a good look at the doughnuts, for someone may need to reach in and snag some delicious cups filled with healthy, tasty strawberries 'n cream....er, creme? it is not important to know how to spell cream/creme as it applies to french dairy products. it is, on the other hand, extremely important that i do not choose to talk to the person i'm with face to face in a line perpendicular to the aisle, so as to essentially create a human blockade across the row. and when my children are running around the organic section screaming "ewww gross" and taking things out of other people's carts, i will take them by the shoulders and place them in the frozen food section for a couple minutes, the little brats.

i can't believe it's three past midnight. geez. where has the time gone? down the proverbial blogger toilet, that's where. and i will have no lunch for tomorrow.

oh crap. and an extra class too. shitters.

but here's the good news: i am sufficiently tired tonight to maybe fall asleep easy, with maybe no dreams or waking up with a start. yes?