homonyms: sew grate two here

you guys, my mom went crazy today and bought me something called a "deep cleaning facial massage." you guys, i'm afraid. all i know about this is that there are "warm booties and mittens" involved. i'm hoping that it's warm booties like cute little socks, and not warm bootys like hot butts. though hot butts (hott?) are okay i guess. it depends on the context. considering this is a "facial massage," i'm a little wary of anything going on in the hot butt department.

and mittens? won't i be hot? and here i mean "high temperature" and not "hott" like paris hilton, whom, while we're here, i'd like to punch in the face. just once. maybe a couple times. it would depend on what was going on that day. and where is this deep cleaning facial massage (DCFM) going to take place? siberia? i mean, i guess i'm okay with that too, but maybe that depends on the boot(ies?)(ys?).

don't get me wrong though, i'm extremely grateful. this is supposed to be relaxing, the DCFM i mean. let's hope. i can tell you one thing: if i get there and i've got woolen mittens on and someone's hot booty is coming towards my face, someone is in for a world of hurt. there will be some serious punches, my friends. i don't care, i'll throw down with mittens on in the middle of siberia. there will be no butts in the immediate vacinity of my face.

also? if you're into that sort of thing, that's cool. i'm not saying i would seek you out and administer a beating. do what you want. with whom you want. whatever kinds of freaky you are, rock on. i'm just saying it's a personal preference. one that i am willing to defend more in the style of "i'll break your jaw" rather than "let's talk it out."

now i am going to go to sleep.

ps stephen, it was wonderful to get your emails and i prom promise i will write you back shortly.