old days, don't come to find me

somebody's extra grouchy today. want to guess who it is?

reasons for this include: it's raining out, which i am usually quite fond of, but i wanted to walk down to highland square and have some delicious enchiladas and a margarita from two amigos (voted best! mexican food! ever!) tonight with some friends, but it is looking like i can't. glasses and the rain, people. it just doesn't work out.

i'm still going. i just hate driving across the street. take an umbrella! not so much fun. take something to wipe those glasses off with! nah. take the glasses off and put them back on when you get to the place! i'll get hit by a truck. you really can't see at all? no. no i can't. wow! yeh, wow. my internal monologue is starting to irritate me.

another reason is: my ethics class is boring today. i really love this professor a lot, i truly do. and i don't mind the subject so much. it's just that the only things the lecture is making me think about is: 1) a slight thrill and intense fear centered around the fact that it is soon time to apply for a job job and 2) i want to go up in the library and put headphones in my ears, thereby preventing any noise. it's not the talking that's bothering me, it's the sound of talking. make sense? good. today it would be about time for someone to invent the reality IM machine, where out of your mouth comes a textbox instead of a......you know what? don't invent that. that's really scary and i would hate that.

and still another reason is: nonprofits. nonprofits, nonprofits. have they just become magic words we think will satisfy our service? like building sandcastles next to the surf.

or how about: lawyers doing business, and we are all here because we all want jobs, right? we all want jobs. but remember, hey katie, wanting to come to school before we found out what it was really like? and without the second-guessing we might both be doing and the we should'ves and wished we hads. did you think it would enable us to help (and maybe as a bonus point, get a job a little easier too?) better? i did. i thought maybe it would be like putting on some armor and coming up with a little strategy instead of just running out in the middle of no man's land without any idea of how to help someone or make some sort of difference. i thought so. do you think it's there still, just maybe different than we thought it would look like? though maybe it's different there in old washington state.

so now i have to go. it's a quarter after past time. today i teach justification, battered women's syndrome, and self defense theory. but only for an hour and bit more. so.

okay.