they're doing a great job

To the Ohio Bar, You Fuckers.

I realize that my official application to sit for the bar exam needs to be (in bold, italics) IN YOUR HANDS by April 3rd, and if I fail to place my supplemental character questionnaire, a copy of that supplemental character questionnaire, my affidavit swearing that all of the aforementioned information is true to the best of my knowledge, my supplemental law school character and fitness affidavit, my waiver of substance abuse history, my waiver of severe mental health disorder history, and my checklist of ITEMS SUBMITTED FORTHWITH, you will send me a letter informing me that I will not be able to take the July 2006 exam and you are sending some burly men over to my apartment to smash my face into my bathroom mirror, repeatedly, until they have broken my will to live and I am begging for death. Thank you for the reminder.

Also thank you for the reminder that I owe you yet another two (2) checks (certified, or it will return to you and burly men, etc.) in the amount of three hundred (300) dollars, adding to the previous amount of two hundred (200) dollars, but not counting towards the final amount of one thousand (1,000) dollars.

Is it your job to fuck me in the ass?
Catherine "Because, honestly, you deserve a raise" Loya.