i am a strong swimmer.

now, remember this. when you get older, and your family ages with you, when your dogs have gone to sleep and to play while they wait for you, when you have had that moment when you see with shining and sudden clarity your mother and your father as those parts of yourself that you love and hate, remember that just because you have those parts does not mean you can change them or make them any better. or worse, for that matter. not any, either way.

remember this, especially when it all comes after the memories of your water wings and dad, and mom would never come in because she was afraid of the water, and try not to cry in the middle of the street when you remember that you know now why she was afraid, though you didn't then of course, it's that your grandfather always threatened to throw her in the elizabeth river when she was small like you were then with the water wings, so she wouldn't go in with you. and remember this, even when you know that just broke her heart sometimes, to not go.

try not to carry around their lives with you, and have your heart break for them, even if you can't help it and eyes are rolled over it, your own mostly, in the middle of the street and walking, with spots on your glasses and afraid you've forgotten your keys and can't get in the building, but of course you can and you always do.