how can you drive if you blind?

name that game, i'll give you a dollar. maybe. you might be disqualified.

okay, so i just choked on a skittle. a red one. i like the red ones, but i never knew they were made out of acid. that shit burns, yo.

i also just found out that i'm going to be gone for two of the five class meetings for art law, which is worth a single credit. this is possibly very bad, as if i don't have six hours of credit during the summer, i cannot work for any of the three crazy professors any longer, two of which will be okay in that event, one of which will come to my house for the sole purpose of confining me in a bunker somewhere in the middle of a deserted island in order to read the internet. yes, i said "read the internet."

some emergency action needs to be taken, including an email to professor art law, which i've already done. unfortunately, i realized too late that i'm missing not one (as i said in the email) but two classes (which i have yet to inform him). the moral of the story here is that i am dumb, possibly blind, and also illiterate. at least we found out before the bar exam, yes?

so i'm sort of sitting here trying to force myself to write professor art law another email. how do i say this? hi professor art law, it's me again. thank you for your quick response to my last note. it seems i won't be returning from my time away (which sounds like i'm in prison--not sure if this is bad or good) until the evening of july 14th (lie) and may not be able to reach class in time (totally not in time, because i'll be across the country). due to this complete oversight, i may now have to miss two of your classes, which is extremely distressing--not only will i miss your class, but if i drop it i will be one credit hour short of qualifying to continue my work as a research assistant to three professors (absolutely true, and one of them is a boarderline homicidal maniac, which i will leave out. maybe)! i realize this is a terrible inconvenience, but again i must ask if there is any way possible for me to make up this work for you (including, but not limited to: cleaning your house, tutoring your bratty little kids, and/or escort services, depending on certain factors), please please let me know.

how's that sound? there may be some editing before i use the power of send.