i should stop my DSL service

still, again i am here and still, again i am angry, and still, i have no time.

but isn't that what we all say? i have no time! i can't! and what does that and that translate to? you are not as important as what i am about to do or say, and therefore, stand aside and take what you can get, because you--even you!--should be honored. here you are!

for all our talking, we get nowhere. mostly because we are only talking about what interests us, rather than what interests all. or maybe, what is important and vital to me rather than us. or, something. i purport to be no better, so really, what use is there talking at all?

i suppose, in those cases we find connection, yes? but when you think and think and think about it, then you can explain! and we know what explaining leads to, yes? disbelief. it is hard for me to believe in you sometimes, when you are not here. and mainly, of course, it is because of my own doubt, yes? remember that post? because of doubt. so it is hard for me to believe in you. though i wish i could.

and further! more!

what someone else says, what history says and has said, what others are saying and will be even after we are gone is one thing, but what about me alone? and do we care? probably not. i feel like yelling! frustration! WHO ARE YOU? is what i feel like saying. but, again: here and angry and no time. and not seriously, anyhow, because this is on the internet, duh, and we read these to make ourselves feel better for doing nothing else besides.