yessirs and ma'ams

okay cat, get it together.

this morning i was in the shower, following my usual routine (shave shampoo soap), when i encountered a problem with step 3: my.....wait a minute. my what? my....loofa(h)? i really hate typing that. saying it. reading it. how is that even spelled?

okay holy shit. i just looked it up on dictionary.com, my steady boyfriend, and it doesn't even mean what you would think. or maybe, it does and i'm just totally oblivious to current trends (true) and/or unable to keep up with what all the cool kids know (also true). dudes, it means "any of several Old World tropical vines of the genus Luffa, having cylindrical fruit with a fibrous, spongelike interior." which i can totally deal with, because okay, that's obviously its origin. but the second definition is worse! "the dried fibrous part of the loofa fruit, used as a washing sponge or as a filter (here comes the worst part!). also called dishcloth gourd, vegetable sponge." oh God! oh God! "dishcloth gourd?!" "vegetable sponge!?" arrrrrggghhhhh! oh no. no no no. nononono.

let's get back to the point and stop thinking about that. where were we? yes. shower. soap. i was using my....uh....sick loofahhhhhh and it began to unravel! there was nothing i could do to stop it. it just unfurled itself like a streamer on the fourth of july, and all i could do was laugh and laugh and try desperately to gather all the material in my hands and finish showering. it was a nice way of waking up, is all i'm saying. though now i'm out an.....yickyickyick oompa-loofah. it was bright orange. it's now in the garbage.

dishcloth gourd?

there are some things i could say here about coffee, and getting burned on the way into the law school as the result of poor lid execution on my cafe au lait (which the guy always asks if i "want it creamy," which, yes please, but i wish that wasn't the first thing i heard almost every morning), and congratulating myself on not dropping the cup as i was washing the burn with cool water in the bathroom, but i think that's well enough as it is.

my research professor says: "cat! you found the needle in the haystack! you are amazing!"

well, alright. i'll tell you what is amazing: the fact that sex discrimination still does not receive the highest level of scrutiny by the supreme court of the united states. instead, they made up a whole new tier. intermediate, they say. pretty close to strict scrutiny, they say.

shitbricks to that, i say.