sure, why not

it finally appears to me, the meaninglessness of argument. there are two sides, and two opinions, and even if one will not move towards the other, then how can there exist any end to the process at all? none, it seems. no end at all. though perhaps that's just right this moment, that feeling. no end, i mean. the next thought that enters my head is: what difference does it make? and that's when alarms start going off.

because the answer to "what difference does it make?" can only be, "no difference at all." and that's when trouble starts to be greater than the thing it seeks to overcome. so leave it, that's what i think. leave it at that. what difference does it make, no difference at all. but as of late, there have been so many things trying to tell me (you and you, specifically, and maybe that includes You? i don't know) that there is a difference to be made, one that includes a definitive, less vague answer--an answer that can encompass more than just a feeling, that can make that feeling be put into words--but i don't know how much of that will be gone when my counseling is over and how much of it, if any, will remain. of that answer, i mean. that there is a difference.

you're confused, that's okay. so am i.

i would still like that hug, too. unfortunately, that hasn't gone away yet. maybe that never goes away. though it would be nice if it did, yeh? along with the old free will. scrap that and that, and you have no troubles left, yeh? or stay the way you were before, cat. with plenty enough of the trouble but at least the justification for the bitter part of it.

ha, how's that for the same and the same and the same? i won't delete this, just so i can remember.